एक दिवस

गारठवणाऱ्या थंडीत  अचानक असा दिवस उजाडतो जेव्हा
पक्षांचा किलबिलाट ऐकू येतो आणि
आणि मनाला खूप सुखावून जातो

Biases

All of us are victims of our known or hidden biases. Sometimes, we don't even realize that we have a bias, lest alone that our thoughts, utterances or actions are influenced by them. Here are some incidences either about me or other people that show hidden biases.

1) I was once writing an email to a female professor at my university. In my email, I addressed the female professor by her first name, and I referred to another male professor as "Dr. So-and-so". I myself was surprised to learn about my own writing, when the female professor brought my attention towards it. I thought I had done so, since I was more comfortable addressing the female professor by her first name, but that wasn't the case with the male professor. But is this a good justification?

2) We, specially Indians, are biased towards fair-skinned people. While it is common to form a first opinion about a person from their looks, I think Indians form their first opinion based on the skin color as well. Indians continue to judge people of all ages, including babies, in this way. To illustrate my point, show pictures of two babies, one who is fair and another who is dark, to some Indian. You may want to make sure that the babies are otherwise equivalent in looks or appearance (both being chubby, for example). It is highly likely that the fair-skinned baby would receive many more compliments than the darker-skinned baby. (If this is difficult to do in real life, look at facebook news feeds. And count the number of likes or comments on pictures of fair babies versus that for dark babies. Actually, this is a good social experiment to carry out!)

Now that I am aware of at least these two biases, I wish I would be careful next time, and not get carried away by my instinct which I think is driven by my bias.

मोदी

मोदी के भाषण के बारें में मुझे ३ चीज़ें अच्छी लगी
१. उन्होंने हिंदी में भाषण किया
२. ना केवल भारत के बारेमें परन्तु प्रवासी भारतीय लोगोंके बारेमें भी उन्होंने बहुत सकारात्मक बातें की
३. यहाँ रहने वाले लोगोंको उन्होंने भारत के विकास के आंदोलन में शामिल होने का आवाहन किया तथा प्रोत्साहित भी किया  

आज सूर्य उठलाच नाही

किर्रकिर्र वाजला गजर कानात
उठावं म्हटलं पुटपुटत मनात
डोळे चोळत शोधतेय काही,
तर आज सूर्य उठलाच नाही!

अंधार होता निबीड बाहेर
त्यात धो धो पावसाचा आहेर
पण ढगांचे घेऊन पांघरूण
गाढ निजला होता आज अरूण

रात्री जाता जाता चंद्र
त्याला उठवायला विसरला की काय,
रोजच्या सारखा गजर लावायला
काल चांदण्या विसरल्या की काय

विचार केला मी मनाशी
झोपू देत बिचाऱ्याला आजच्या दिवशी
कोवळ्या किरणांची अन रंगांची
वाट पाहीन मी उद्याची  

C people

Let's talk about 'C'* (confused) people. I think this is a problem of our generation; we are confused. We are confused about so many things in our lives such as -

- What do we want to become in life?

- Which job should we take?

- Who is the right partner for us?

- Which country should we live in? (specially for NRIs, a common question that lingers in our minds is, should we go back or should we stay here?)

- Should we marry?

- Do we want kids? (If yes, should we be content with having an only child or should we have two?)

It is not possible that the previous generation was much more resolute than us and hence could decide quickly. I think the problem is that of the immense number of options available to us in each and every spectrum of life. More choices, more confusion. Another factor could be our desire to obtain the best that life can offer us. Does it mean that we are incapable of feeling satisfied easily? I don't know. I don't have an answer as to why we are the way we are. Sometimes, I do wish for lesser choices though.

* I am taking just the single letter 'C' from the popular acronym 'ABCD' used for 'American Born Confused Desis'. 

I never thought that..

As a kid, I never had a grand plan for my life. I might have planned for how to study for the upcoming exam, or what to do after I graduate. But that was looking ahead at most 1 year. I never dreamed about what would I do after 5 years or 10 years. Things just happened, and I followed along. Looking at where am I right now does amuse me sometimes.
I never thought that:

- There would be a time frame when both, Aj & me will be students.
When we got married, both of us were 25+. Who would have thought then that each of us would be student again, and there would be an overlapping time period when both are students at the same time!

- I will stay in USA for 5 years. Or for that matter, I will stay within an hour's drive from NYC.
Though I would have liked to visit other countries, I never dreamed about going abroad or staying abroad. I thought I was quite satisfied with living in India (or भारत!).

- I will pursue a PhD.
After finishing my masters degree, I started working in software industry. I did not see myself going back to academia to get another degree.

Sometimes, life surprises you in many ways. And I am happy about it.

Every year, we never miss celebrating my birthday, thanks to my friends and a big thanks to my hubby. Many a times, as the day begins, I am a little sad because it doesn't feel like a special day. But at the end of the day, something sweet is awaiting for me :) This year was no exception. Here is how our conversation was going on my birthday:

Me: Can we go out for dinner tonight.. Chand palace or some other place

Aj: Nah .... May be later in the week

Me: Kaa :(

Me: मला आजच जायचंय (I want to go out today itself)

Aj: Trust me u dont want to go today ... I heard a salmanela scare

At this point, I was a bit disappointed. Determined to convince Aj to go out for dinner, I left for home from my lab. I had no idea at all what Aj was up to.  It so turned out that there was a surprise birthday party awaiting for me at my home :) All my school friends cooperated with hubby and came over. This really made my day!  When your hubby plans a birthday party for you with the same enthusiasm he had when you were a newly wed couple, that reminds you that the love is still fresh :) And that's a great feeling.

चारोळी

येणाऱ्या दिवसाचे स्वागत करण्यासाठी संपलेला दिवस विसरायला हवा
नव्या श्वासाला जागा देण्यासाठी जुना श्वास सोडून द्यायलाच हवा
चिंता आणि काळजी चे ओझे वावगत किती दिवस फिरायचे?
बेधुंद, बेभान जगणे रोजच का लांबणीवर टाकायचे?